October 2, 2009

Standing in my own way...

"Don't ask for God to guide your Footstep
...if you are not willing to move your feet."

These were the words that concluded my post the other day. A post I didn't write myself, but an email I received that just resonated with me. Though the whole post had meaning, these words have been ringing through my mind over and over again since I read them.

These words halted the flowery poetry, and caused me to realize that for some time now, I've been doing just that -- asking for guidance, but standing dead in my tracks -- afraid or unwilling to take a step.

I look in the mirror and can see, that physically I need to get moving -- yet quite literally I am idle.

I look around my home and see the work that needs to be done -- but take no interest in doing it.

I pray every day for things to be different for me professionally -- but take no steps to change them.

I am, like this morning, overcast and cold. Filled with self-doubt. Afraid of failing. Asking God to guide my footsteps, but then refusing to move my feet.

If you are reading this and thinking I am being too hard on myself -- I'm not. I'm being honest. I blame no one, but myself, for this feeling I have. I've been talking the talk of joy and optimism -- but I haven't been walking the walk.

So God in Heaven....

Today I Pray...

...free me from the excuses
...enlighten me
...help me to lift this self-imposed burden of sadness and self-pity

Help me to pick myself up
Dust myself off
And give me the courage
To move
...in the direction of my dreams

I know there is a sun
that is peaking through the clouds
Help me to see that light.


"In danger I called on the Lord;
the Lord answered me and set me free.
The Lord is with me; I am not afraid;
what can mortals do against me?"
Psalms 118:5-6

5 comments:

Just a little something from Judy said...

Honesty, openess, and sharing are hard to do, and yet I find at times it is theraputic. What you might not realize, that you are in the company of many friends(myself being one of them), who can relate to what you shared, in one way or another. Life is hard. At times it is easier not to lift our feet and do the next thing. The best thing about that is the the patience, mercy and love with which our Heavenly Father deals with us. It is a journey and we are all on it together. He has great things in store for you. I know because I realize daily from reading your blog, just how much talent He gifted you with. Love that you shared your heart today.

Tabitha & Family said...

Your honesty is refreshing. That is a great step toward achieving what you wish to achieve. Many times we pray for something, then stand in God's way. I am very guilty of doing this, even now at times.

Amanda Fall - PersistentGreen said...

Oh, Lauren, I am so grateful that I chose today to stop by your blog. I've been caught up in life changes and transitions lately and haven't been keeping up with my blog rounds--but this was exactly what I needed to read today.

Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable and painfully honest here. The reminder is so important--God is ALWAYS reaching out that hand, we just need to be willing to grab it.

Praying that you will soon feel your dear feet moving and grooving in God's love!

I also wanted to let you know that I'm offering one of my handmade journals for a giveaway contest on my blog...come on over and enter for a chance to win it, if you like.

Have a wonderful day.

PRETTY IN PARIS said...

Lauren,
I am touched and grateful to have discovered your blog as well as a few others today. I seek and share affirmations and find this kind of connection an extention to how I think.
I look forward to keeping in touch and being inspired.
Sending lots of love from Paris via a Chicago native,
Brigitte

Lauren said...

Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. I can't even explain how much it helps to know that I'm not alone in the feelings...

Brigitte, when I saw the little French flag show up in my live traffic feed, I smiled. My grandmother was originally from France - and though she passed away many years ago, she still shows herself to me from time to time....a guardian angel of sorts. She worked through you today...and I just wanted to say thank you for leaving a comment. I hope you'll come back often!

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